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Wit of the Staircase

by Spooky Mulder

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1.
Used to Be 03:43
I am now her used to be. A boy that she no longer sees. A limit reach a lesson learned. A love that’s lost to time. I call her up just to let her know. Why would I ever let this know. I hope to god she holds on tight to the memories we made those nights. I know it’s complicated, but that’s just not our style. Anticipation made a fool of me. I hope I didn’t make you jaded, or become a memory, cause' I don’t want to be your used to be. Hold on hope all down your road. Of everything don’t let that go. You might lose love or curse the night, but really what’s the point, of letting go what’s really real? A towel thrown before the fight. A heart that now is Iron clad, reflects memories of days we had. I know it’s complicated, but that’s just not our style. Anticipation made a fool of me. I hope I didn’t make you jaded, or become a memory, cause I don’t want to be your used to be. I know it might be overstated, but you’re the one I need. And I don’t want to be your used to be. No, I’m not going to be your used to be.
2.
Catastrophe 03:36
I dreamed about a new path then woke up to walk the old. So I set off to find something that’s new. I climbed the tallest mountain to see the lowlands all around. There’s a million way to the top But it’s the same damn view. So walk away when you can from a life that you can’t stand. You’re the author of your own catastrophe. Just take it for all it’s worth all the joy and all the hurt. Or else where you are is where you’re going to peak. Livin’ is a gamble baby and lovin’s much the same. But, Mr. Simon let the blues run his own game. When the coin is flipped no matter how it hits the ground, it’s a bet you can’t make without your chips down. So walk away when you can when you’ve been dealt a shitty hand. You’re the author of your own catastrophe. Take it for all it’s worth. It might be gold it might be dirt but, livin’ costs too much if you ain’t free. I took a trip back home to see how far I’ve teally come. It’s clear to me that I’m my fathers son. No matter how much luck you have, or what you think you’re owed, life finds a way to keep you on the run. So walk away when you can but keep in touch with your old man. You’re the author of your own catastrophe. Just take for all it’s worth, cause who you are ain’t your work, and where you are is where you want to be. Walk away when you can from a life that you can’t stand. You’re the author of your own catastrophe. Just take it for all it’s worth all the gold and all the dirt. Cause livin’ costs too much if you ain’t free.
3.
Marida 04:54
If you run away are you sure that I could find ya? Or are you afraid that I might stay? Im so tired of these talks we keep on having. When will things just go my way? When you turn out the last light in your old home in Pennsylvania would you shed a tear for the life that you once had? Would you pack it up, and let it go and hope someday you find it, or will you realize it’s been here all along? Oh Marida let me in. Give me a place I can begin again, and keep all of the promise I have for you. Oh Marida would you save me? Give me a life that’s worth chasing, cause’ everything that I’ve been running from is running too. Oh Marida please be fair, cause’ all i have is ours to share. If you quite I don’t know if I’d find my way back home. In ten months time I know, that i will hear from my Marida. She’ll tell me stories all about her sun tanned life. We both know that a heart beat travels faster than a jet plane, and the soul is not a thing in place can keep. So if you end up at a place where you think that I could find ya, leave a flower and a picture on my door. All these troubled thoughts I had about my dear Marida, will be a distance in the past I’m looking towards. Oh Marida bring me home to a place we both belong. Cause’ I don’t know what the hell I’m doing here. Mmmm Marida you ain’t alone Cause everyone fears the unknown. If you need me I’ll help you find your way back home. Mmmm Marida you ain’t alone Cause everyone fears the unknown. If you need me I’ll help you find your way back home.
4.
Well I tried my best when you put me to the test. I thought it all would go my way. You’re saying you need more as I’m begging on your floor, telling me to go away. A couple weeks have passed since you dumped me on my ass. I know it makes you want it more. You’ll just keep on callin’ and I I’ll keep on fallin’ for the girl who still lives next door. I’m still the last name in your messenger. I’m still the late night call when you’ve got nothing to say. I just want you to stop... and tell me you still want me. Now the cryin’ stuff is over let’s go back to doin’ it right. I’m trying to be cool but I’m breaking all the rules. I just can’t seem to get it right. I don’t need you for forever I just want to make it better, so tell me to come over tonight. I’m still the last name in your messenger. I’m still the late night call when you’ve got nothing to say. I just want you to stop... and tell me you still want me. Now the cryin’ stuff is over let’s go back to doin’ it right. Some day we’ll both look back and we’ll try to do the math, to find out where it all went wrong. But, why just wait for someday when you always get it your way with your words that keep me stringin along. I’m still the last name in your messenger. I’m still the late night call when you’ve got nothing to say. I just want you to stop... and tell me you still want me. Now the cryin’ stuff is over let’s go back to doin’ it right. I’m still the last name in your messenger. I’m still the late night call when you’ve got nothing to say. I can still be the first text of your morning. A few soft words to make the whole day bright. We’re doin’ it wrong so let’s go back to doing it right.
5.
Your's is the first name I wanted to write. I want to see you in the morning with the sleep still in our eyes. And when we lay our heads in the evening, I’ll know that you are mine. But, not quite yet cause’ time takes time. We’ll park our bikes on the corner of Chestnut street, and walk on down to the dog park where the river trail meets. We’ll name all of the pups. They’ll be ours in our own mind. But, not quite yet cause’ time takes time. We’ll plan a trip to Bali, or maybe just down the shore. I’ll kiss you on the boardwalk as the riptides roar. Or you can go off on your own somewhere to find some peace of mind. But, not quite yet cause’ time takes time. The sweetest taste of a sunbeam matches the color of your hair. I want to dance with you till’ morning with smell of moonlight in the air. As we watch those stars fall into day we’ll shift our paradigm. But, not quite yet cause’ time takes time. I’m stealing all the seconds, now I’m paying for the crime. So let it fly cause’ time takes time.
6.
I want to cross the line. I want to waste your time. I want to go where you can’t follow. Behind the mirrors and smoke i’ll sit back and watch you choke on the words that you never said. Because your alibi felt real to you inside but, all this time it’s been in your head. I want to go where you’re not welcome. Thanks to you it won’t be hard. So when you’re alone and you finally think it through, remember it’s not me it was you. Every night there's another fight, even though you say it's done. Despite everything, you still think that I am vain, but you never knew me at all. So when that hour comes, and you realize I'm the one. Remember you let me get away. I want to go where you’re not welcome. Thanks to you it won’t be hard. So when you’re alone and you finally think it through, remember it’s not me it was you. I try to sing along to all these stupid break up songs, but they all put the blame on me. So while I've got you here, let me make it clear, this one's on you so try to sing in key. I want to go where you’re not welcome. Thanks to you it won’t be hard. So when you’re alone and you finally think it through, remember it’s not me it was you. Remember It's not me. It was you.
7.
We lost touch of the moment. We knew the words but I forgot it. Another thought I wished I thought of. I'd turn around but you're not there. All times I failed to mention. Lost all the wisdom that we ever learned. I'll think back to conversations, and all the thoughts I wish you had heard. Uh uh oh did you say all you wanted to say? Or did you leave your wit in the staircase? Uh uh oh its okay. Say it anyway. I am haunted L'esprit de l'escalier. I got heart but it ain't enough. I tried to beat this but I couldn't. You ignore it and think it's smart. You want to fight but think you shouldn't. Uh uh oh did you say all you wanted to say? Or did you leave your wit in the staircase? Uh uh oh its okay. Say it anyway. I am haunted L'esprit de l'escalier. Don't let me fall apart. Just tell me if it's worth it to you. If I'm alone, I won't even start. But, if you're with me then it's worth it.

about

"Wit of the Staircase" - the clever response which, frustratingly, comes to one's mind just after the opportunity to utter it is past.




For H - That you always have the wit and courage to say all that you want to say, and embrace every adventure that follows.

credits

released June 8, 2018

Produced by: Riley Fressie, Tyler Falcone, and Andrew Nittoli
Special musical thanks to :
Mike Pontera - Tracks: 4,5,6,7
Tyler Falcone - Track: 7
Alan Whitney - Track: 8
Photography : Hannah Brenneman @han_amelia

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Spooky Mulder Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Spooky Mulder is a Singer-Songwriter who creates a smoky fusion of familiar pop elements with his personal strain of Americana. Spooky’s minimal performance style is both intimate and powerful, bittersweet and inspiring. Spooky pens tuneful openhearted songs, lyrics clearly earned the hard way in broad themes of innocence lost while feeling both hopeful and helpless. ... more

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